


Wheel Clocking

by ZiegeDame



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Gen, Trans Female Character, Ushiromiya Family-Typical Unpleasantness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZiegeDame/pseuds/ZiegeDame
Summary: But what if Battler were trans?





	Wheel Clocking

**Author's Note:**

> It wasn't a joke, Kinu.
> 
> This first chapter took far longer to write than I'd care to admit. There's a couple more chapters to go, but when they actually get written is entirely up to the whims of my little grey cells. Please look forward to it.
> 
> Incidentally, the title came about when I was googling ways to cheat at roulette, and when I saw this term the pun was too perfect to pass up.

** A-Side Part One **

 

I had this all planned out. I’m seeing my whole family for the first time in six years. The first time as the real me. My hair is perfect, I’m wearing my favorite skirt, and I look cute as hell. I had a plan. I was going to be cool and confident and dare anyone to give me shit. It was all planned out.

SO WHY DOES THIS BOAT HAVE TO GO SO FUCKING FAAASST FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

“Uuu! Battler onee-chan! Fall, Fall!”

DAMN YOU, MARIA, YOU TRAITORRRRrrrrrrrrr

 

**October 4th, 1986, 10:** **15** **AM**

Oh thank god, dry land, finally. And I even manged to keep my screaming mostly internally. My hands pretty sore from how hard I was gripping the railing though. Oh hey, new guy, Gohda. Christ he’s tall. Seems nice enough. Oh hey, the rose garden looks even better than I remember. And now uncle Hideyoshi is yelling to someone.

“Heeey! If it ain’t Kanon-kun! It’d been so long, how ya doin’?!”

In the direction of the shouting is a slender boy pushing a wheelbarrow full of gardening supplies. There is something familiar about him but I can’t put my finger on it. He seems to have noticed me staring at him.

“...Good afternoon.”

Short, smooth face, he definitely reminds me of some of the guys from that bar in Tokyo. Wait. Fuuuuck. Gohda is saying something now, but my mind is a little too busy being blown to take it all in.

“...I’m pleased to… meet you. I am the servant… Kanon...”

I’m not just making this up, right? Like, projecting or whatever. I mean, judging by the look on his face he’s thinking the same thing I am. How did nobody tell me they had a trans guy on staff. No, of course they wouldn’t. Hell, do they not even know? They probably don’t. Shit.

The rest of the conversation kinda passes on auto-pilot, but as he picks up the wheelbarrow again I notice a stray rock in the middle of the path, which I casually kick into the bushes. Don’t worry buddy, big sis has your back.

 

  **October 4th, 1986,** **12:00 P** **M**

“Pardon me. Your meal is prepared,” comes a timid voice from behind the door.

“Shannon, come in,” Jessica answers brightly. “You remember Battler, don’tcha?”

When she opens the door it finally hits me where I recognized Kanon from.

“I-it’s been quite some time since we last met, Battler-sama. It’s nice to see you after six years. I’m Shannon.” We just saw each other like an hour ago, but I get it. Little weird that nobody else seems to have noticed, but cis people are good at only seeing what they wanna see.

But there are more important matters at hand, like flirting with cute girls. “Ah Shannon, you look beautiful as always.” I smile and lean in. “How about we ditch the audience and go make up for lost time?”

A long pause, and then, “Okay.”

Wait, really? A quick glance around the room confirms that I’m not the only one surprised that line actually worked. Well, no take backs. I grab Shannon by the hand and hurry into the hallway. As I turn to close the door behind us, I see that George’s glasses have gone completely opaque.

Once I’m sure we’re out of earshot of the others, I turn my attention to the most pressing question. “So, do you prefer to go by Kanon now, or…?”

“Eh?” A look of surprise crosses their face. “Shannon is fine, right now.” It doesn’t sound like a very confident answer.

“Right, sure, I get it. Your secret’s safe with me. But damn, there are some guys back in Tokyo who would be very upset with me if I didn’t ask you where you get your binders.”

“That’s, er… not...”

“Sorry, no, that’s fine. You don’t have to answer that. Just couldn’t let it be said that I didn’t ask. But seriously, I wish I’d known, you know? The past six years have been pretty rough, and the last time we spoke I was way overcompensating, and well, I figured, who would want to hear about how the guy they liked was,” I throw my arms wide and gesture at my very much not-a-guy self. “But if I’d known you were going through the same thing, I’d have written you, like, every goddamn day. Er, you… you still with me?”

“Shannon dear, you said the meal was ready, right?” I somehow manage not to scream when George suddenly appears behind me. Whatever just happened, his words seem snap Shannon back into ‘duty mode’.

"Ah, Yes! I'm sorry! ...The preparations for your meal have been carried out, so I shall be accompanying everyone to the mansion."

As Shannon begins to lead the four of us back to the mansion, I decide it’s fine if everyone hears this last bit. “For real though, I’m seriously glad I got to meet you again. I mean it.” Whatever effect my heartfelt words have does not show through the servant’s mask, but they do provoke a lurid glare from Jessica.

 

 

 

**October 5 th, 1986, 1:00 AM**

And here I was starting to hope I could make it through the whole weekend without having to see the old geezer, and now I need go out in the middle of the night in the pouring rain to take some stupid test? Doesn’t the old bastard know a girl needs her beauty sleep? Maybe I should just fail whatever test this is just to spite him. Nah, would probably piss him off more if I aced it.

I’m not even halfway to the chapel when someone burst out of the bushes. “Ka- Sha- Er, what’s with the dress?”

“No time you explain. You need hide, fast.”

“What? What’s going on. Is this part of the test?”

“Seriously, your mom is terrifying. We gotta go. Now.”

“My mom? You mean Kyrie? What does she- Wha- Hey!” But they’ve already grabbed my arm and started dragging me down… a hidden staircase… in the middle of the woods… What?

“This is all wrong. God, Battler, why couldn’t you just be better at solving riddles?”

“What!?”


End file.
